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                                                                                Did you hear the one about.....


The Nymphomaniacs Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.  As he settled in, he glanced 
up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.  He soon realized 
she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took 
the seat right beside his.   

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”  
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs 
of America Convention in Boston “ He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous 
woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of 
nymphomaniacs.  Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s 
your business role at this convention?”  “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use 
information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of 
the popular myths about sexuality.”  “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths 
are there?”  “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American 
men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American 
Indian who is most likely to possess that trait.  Another popular myth is that 
Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who are 
the best.  I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina 
is the Southern Redneck.”   

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. “I’m sorry,” she said, 
“I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name.”
He replied, “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Goldstein.  My friends call me Bubba.”



The Divorce Hearing

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, "What are the grounds 
for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

  The Judge asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer 
to your questions is yes."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. 
   He said he can't communicate with me!


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