YUKS
Jokes Page 4
Did you hear the one about.....
The
Nymphomaniacs
Convention
A
man boarded an airplane and took his seat.
As he settled in, he glanced
up and saw
the most beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized
she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took
the seat right beside his.
Eager
to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual
Nymphomaniacs
of America Convention in Boston “ He swallowed hard. Here was the most
gorgeous
woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting
of
nymphomaniacs. Struggling to
maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s
your business role at this convention?” “Lecturer,”
she responded. “I use
information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some
of
the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?”
he said. “And what kind of myths
are there?” “Well,” she
explained, “one popular myth is that African-American
men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native
American
Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that
Frenchmen are the best lovers when actually it is men of Jewish descent who
are
the best. I have also discovered
that the lover with absolutely the best stamina
is the Southern Redneck.”
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A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked,
"What are the grounds
for your divorce?"
She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."
"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.
"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"
"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."
The Judge asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"
"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."
"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music, but the answer
to your questions is yes."
"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"
"Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."
Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"
"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never
wanted a divorce. My husband does.
He said he can't communicate with me!"
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