Return to Home Page

Return to Main Quotes Page


                                                Quotes page 2


A woman is always buying something.   ( Ovid, 43 B.C. )


Women speak two languages, one of which is verbal.


Another word for sushi: Bait.


A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.


Never mistake knowledge for wisdom.  One helps you make a living and the
other helps you make a life.


I enjoy dating married men because they don’t want anything kinky; like breakfast.


On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down for dinner at the
same moment, Halftime.


Thomas Jefferson’s slaves loved him so much, they called him by a special name: Dad.


If Noah had been truly wise,
He would have swatted those two flies.


There ain’t no rules around here !  We’re trying to accomplish something !  ( Thomas Edison )


Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the U.S.  Ask any Indian.


A Nation … is just a society for hating foreigners.


America is a large friendly dog in a small room.  Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.


Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the United States
without seeing anything.


You have to feel sorry for all those convicts in New Hampshire who stamp out the license
plates that say “Live Free or Die”.


Churches welcome all denominations, but most prefer twenties and fifties.


Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.


Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.


The Vatican has come out against surrogate mothers.


Return to Main Quotes Page

Next Page of Quotes

Return to Home Page