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Life is tough -- tougher if you're stupid.       (Widely attributed to John Wayne)


The less a man knows, the bigger noise he makes.     (Mark Twain)


After death, hair and fingernails continue to grow -- but phone calls taper off.    (Widely attributed to Johnny Carson)


You donít stop laughing because you grow old.  You grow old because you stop laughing.


We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.


Isnít Mother Nature amazing ?  A million years ago, we didnít know we were going to
need glasses but look where she put our ears.


Cleaning your house while you still have kids is like shoveling the sidewalk during a blizzard.


I could afford all the things I never had as a kid, if I didnít have kids.


Iíd get pregnant if I could be sure Iíd have puppies.


My Parents have been visiting me for a few days.  I just dropped them off at the airport. 
They leave tomorrow.


Love is what happens to men and women who donít know each other.


Good judgment comes from experiences caused by poor judgment.


A life spent making mistakes is more useful than a life spent doing nothing.


Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.


If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thereíd be a
shortage of fishing poles.


We are what we pretend to be.


In spite of the cost of living, it is still popular.


Be interested in the future.  You are going to spend the rest of your life there.


My goal is to die young at a very old age.


Chaste makes waste.


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