Marriage Counseling

A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a
passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20
years they had been married. 

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness,
loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire
laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their
marriage. 
  
Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time,
The therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking
the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her
husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat
down as though in a daze. 

The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?'

The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off
here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.

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Elder Sex Therapy

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist's office.

The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?'

The man says, 'Will you watch us have sex?'

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an  elderly couple is 
asking for such advice that he agrees.

When the couple finishes, the doctor says, 'There's absolutely nothing wrong with
the way you do it.'

 He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and 
he says good bye.

The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. 
The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row.

The couple makes a appointment, do their thing with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave.

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, 'I'm sorry, but I have to ask. 
Just what are you trying to find out?'

The man says, 'We're not trying to find out anything.

She's married so we can't go to her house.

I'm married and we can't go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98.

 The Hilton charges $139

 We do it here for $50, and......

 I get $43 back from Medicare.