YUKS
Jokes Page 10
Did you hear the one about.....
Bob
Bob
works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling
and plays golf every Saturday.
His
wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard so, for his birthday,
she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,
'Hey, Bob! How ya doin'?'
Bob's wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.'
When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual
and brings over a Budweiser.
Bob's wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How
did she know that you drink Budweiser?'
'I recognize her,' said Bob, 'she's the waitress from the golf
club. I always have a Bud at the end of the first
nine, honey.' A stripper then comes over to their table,
throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him
and says,
'Hi, Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'
Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam
the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries to
desperately explain how the stripper
must have mistaken him for someone else, but
his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her
lungs, calling him every four-letter word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez,
Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'
Bob's funeral is on Tuesday.
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A
woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him.
She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front
of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his
coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the
room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first
met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back
then?' he asks solemnly.
The wife is almost reduced to tears herself, just thinking how caring and
sensitive her husband is. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses.
The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us
in the back seat of my car?' 'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself
into a chair beside him.
The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my
face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20
years?' 'I remember that, too' she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...
'I
would have gotten out today.'
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