YUKS
Jokes Page 9
Did you hear the one about.....
The Genie in a Bottle
This guy walking on the beach in California one day picks up this bottle and
while cleaning it up a bit, discovers that it is like an Aladdin's Lamp. The
genie
comes out and thanks him for releasing him from the bottle where he had been
imprisoned for 300 years.
"I would like to grant you one single wish for releasing me, anything
you
want" said the genie.
"Anything? Well... I have always wanted to see Hawaii. Can I get a nice
long
vacation in Hawaii?"
"Of course you can."
"But... there's just one thing. I hate flying, so that's why I've never
been
to Hawaii. So can you just build me a road over to Hawaii and get me a nice
car to get there?" asked the man.
"WHAT??? Are you crazy? Do you realize what kind of resources that would
take? How much concrete and steel? How tall the bridge supports would have to
be to reach the bottom of the Pacific Ocean? It would be a construction
project 1,000,000 times larger than anything that has ever been built on
Earth! No, I'm sorry, what you're asking would be impossible."
The guy thought for a minute. "Yeah, I didn't think of it like that, you're
right. Hmmm... tell you what, let's do this instead. Something else I've
always wanted is to simply understand women. Can you make it where I can
understand relationships, what women want, and how to communicate effectively
with them? Can you do that instead?"
The genie replied, "You want that bridge to have two lanes or four?"
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A
LITTLE FLAB !!
One
morning while making breakfast,
a
man walked up to his wife,
pinched
her on the butt and said...
'If you firmed this up, we could get rid of
your
control top pantyhose.'
While this was on the edge of
intolerable,
she kept silent.
The next morning,
the
man woke his wife with
a
pinch on each of her breasts
and
said....
'You
know, if you firmed these up,
we
could get rid of your bra.'
This
was beyond
a
silent response...
So she rolled over
and
grabbed him
by
his 'DANGLER.'
With a death grip in place,
she
said...
'You
know,
if
you
firmed this
up,
we
could get rid of
the
gardener,
the postman,
the pool man,
and
your brother!
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