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                                                                              Did you hear the one about.....


The Husband Store

A brand new store just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband,
they have to follow the instructions at the entrance: 'You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors
and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor,
or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman
goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 -
These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good
Looking and Help with the Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and he sign reads: Floor 5 -
These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead
Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she
goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

6th floor. You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely
as proof that women are impossible to please.   Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a Wife Store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.



Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says 
to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the  moon?'  
The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida?????'

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.  
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'  

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away 
my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite 
bank. 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'  
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You  ARE on the other side.'

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she 
touched it.  'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her 
elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed;  
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?  
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'  
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken.'

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was 
astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!  
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper  cranked down his window, 
turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'   'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF !'  

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the  dice and she landed on 
Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'  
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is the vacuum on or off?'

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names 
were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.   Her friend
said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?'  
'HELLLOOOOOOO.......,' answered the blond.  'They're watch dogs


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